How Far is Too Far? - John Perritt

John Perritt - Youth Pastor
Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church (Ridgeland, MS)

I’m sure you, or your “friend”, have asked this question of your youth worker. Maybe you haven’t asked it, but you’ve thought about asking it. Maybe you didn’t ask because you were intimidated. Or, maybe you didn’t ask because you didn’t want them to tell you that what you were doing with your boyfriend or girlfriend was sinful.
Whatever the case may be, here are some things to consider:

You Can Sin Sexually Without Having Sex

This culture has become increasingly accepting of sexual activity. Chances are, if you have been in a lengthy dating relationship, you have probably sinned sexually – without even having sex. Often times teenagers think they are okay if they haven’t actually committed the sex act, but they do everything else leading up to this. You may say, “But the Bible doesn’t say anything is wrong with ______________.” But just because the Bible doesn’t explicitly state something, doesn’t mean it is endorsing it.

Your Heart Wants to Rewrite the Bible

Whether intentional or not, your heart doesn’t like the Bible. By nature, your heart wants to do what Scripture forbids. Listen to Denny Burk, “The temptation is always there to suppress or revise biblical norms in order to accommodate the powerful twin influences of culture and fleshly desire.” Basically Burk is saying that the world and your flesh are getting you to hate what the Bible says. The world is telling you it’s okay to fool around with your girlfriend, and your flesh is saying it feels good to be with your boyfriend, so it must be okay. By implication, “The Bible must be wrong”, becomes our way of thinking.

You Think Marriage is For Old People

Listen to Burk again, “A sizable percentage of young people today are delaying adulthood. In particular, they are delaying marriage and childbearing, but they are not delaying sex.” In high school I thought marriage was a lifetime away, but it’s often closer than you think. The truth is, God created sex for marriage, and if you want sex so bad, maybe marriage is something you need to consider sooner rather than later. I know some of you may laugh at that statement, but remember that God doesn’t laugh at your sexual sin. God hates it. God will not honor it. And, God cannot be mocked [Gal. 6:7], so you will be found out.


You must remember that God is a holy God and he calls his followers to be holy. He does not want Christians to make peace with their sexual sin, because it cost him the life of his only Son. How far is too far?, is often a question that has sin lying at its root. With Scriptures like, “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” [2 Tim. 2:22] and “sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you,” [Eph. 5:3], Burk rightly asserts, “The question should not be, “How far can we go?” The question should be, “How far can we stay away?” 

If you are reading this and you have been in sexual sin with your girlfriend or boyfriend, know that there is freedom in repenting of your sin and placing your faith in Christ. You are not too filthy for the blood of Jesus to cleanse you. If you are one who is justifying your sin and plans to remain sexually active, know that the Bible has strong warnings for you. I may not persuade you, but maybe God’s holy Word will, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters…will inherit the kingdom of God.” [1 Cor. 6:9-10]
[1] Denny Burk, What is the Meaning of Sex?, pg. 217 
[2] Ibid. pg. 217
[3] Ibid. 220 


Posted by Joey Stewart at 1:40 PM